Our Nation's Birthday

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"The government is the potent omnipresent teacher. For good or ill it teaches the whole people by its example." ~ Justice Louis D. Brandeis

Seaside, Oregon is a coastal town to built, primarily, on tourism. Broadway, its version of The Strip, leads from downtown to the sea front boardwalk, and is packed with shops, restaurants, and amusements. Every day, a pudgy good natured candy man stands on the corner of Broadway & Columbia, singing his jingle and handing out samples of salt water taffy to passers by.

We spent our 4th of July weekend in Seaside. Walking along the boardwalk, one couldn’t help but notice signs stating that no illegal fireworks would be tolerated. Thus, during a late night stroll, on the 3rd, I was surprised to see the beach being illuminated by unsanctioned explosions of color. Figuring the police were on their way, I shrugged and continued the stroll. However, upon reaching the main staircase to beach, I witnessed a Hispanic family, mom, dad, and two little kids, being frisked by officers as they were leaving the beach. To make sure I was seeing things correctly, I asked a man, with his two kids, if he’d seen the family being searched as explosions continued to erupt on the beach. He said, “Yes, my kids and I were just talking about that.”

Let me pause to say that I’m a huge fan of law enforcement. I spent years volunteering for my local department, and will always give them the benefit of every doubt. I don’t know what the Hispanic family’s behavior was like before I arrived on the scene. There may very well have been probable cause to search them. It was simply the choice to do it as others were blatantly breaking the law which threw me for a loop.

The next night, the beach was crowded with tents, lawn chairs, and blankets as citizens waited for the pyrotechnic extravaganza to come. We claimed our spot at 5pm along the dividing wall between the boardwalk and the beach. Rain spit from the cloud covered sky periodically, forcing us to huddle under blankets. Music from local radio station 94.9, which had set up speakers along the beach, entertained the crowd.

Between music sets, a recording of Police Chief Robert Gross stated, in no uncertain terms, that illegal fireworks would definitely not be tolerated. As this public service announcement filled the airwaves, unsanctioned fireworks were booming on both ends of the beach, decorating the gray clouds, and a group of four young officers nonchalantly made their way into the alley between the Shiloh Inn and the next motel. The smoke from the illegal incendiary devices was eventually thick enough to burn my eyes, forcing them shut.

I’m not against people having fun. I’m not even against allowing illegal fireworks in designated areas, as long as kids and alcohol are kept from those areas. What bothers me is stating something won’t be allowed, then allowing it. There’s no better way to breed contempt for the law than failing to enforce laws which you’ve stated will be upheld. Children witness such contradictions and grow up thinking that laws are merely suggestions which can be disregarded on a whim.

To my knowledge, no physical harm was done that night, other than the junk being left on the beach, by the thoughtless. Broken chairs, beer bottles, and spent rockets gathered sand and laid forgotten, and the candy man assumed his customary post on Broadway & Columbia as visitors headed home. Yet, I can’t help but wonder what it means when people celebrate our nation’s birthday by ignoring her laws?

On a final note, remember the man who witnessed the search with his kids on the 3rd? That witness was none other than Congressman David Wu. I hope he walked away asking the same questions that I have.

Sometimes I'm Slow, But I Get Things Eventually

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A month ago, I briefly wrote about the BP oil spill. I said, in a nutshell, the spill had been written about to death, and the higher seafood prices really irked me. Basically, I blew it off as something which was being over hyped by the media. Typically, I’m a pretty bright chap, but I was stupidly ignorant at the time. I just didn’t grasp the scope of the disaster.

Part of my problem was that I was used to oil spills being one time events, which can be cleaned up once they end. I honestly thought the worst was over. I was wrong.

To put things in perspective, let's look at the numbers. To date, this spill has been pumping 2.5 million gallons of oil, per day, into the Gulf of Mexico for fifty-eight days. That’s 145 million gallons of oil so far, covering 580 square miles, with no end in site. According to TREEHUGGER.COM;

14 - The approximate number of Exxon Valdez spills it would take to equal the BP spill.

783 - Number of birds killed by the oil spill so far, according to the Fish & Wildlife Dept.

1% - Percentage of birds that survive long-term after being covered in oil, according to some studies.

353 - Endangered sea turtles killed.

41 - Dolphins and other marine mammals killed.

86 - Number of oil cleanup workers who have gotten sick, as reported by BP.

109 - Number of oil cleanup workers who have gotten sick, as reported by state records.

As for the the 86 sick clean up workers, acknowledged by BP so far. In a report by NBC News, a BP spokesman has been quoted as saying, "the company has tested air quality and has deemed that respirators are not needed under government guidelines." This is interesting, considering cleanup workers can only work for 30 minutes at a time before being overcome by fumes. Some believe that even the 109 figure is an incomplete total.

Last night, President Obama addressed the disaster with an 18 minute speech from the Oval Office.



I think making BP clean up the spill is a great idea. I think making BP set aside enough money to compensate every single person effected by the spill is a great idea. I think designating a third party to determine liability on a case by case basis is a great idea. Now let's see if ANY of it actually happens.

Among liberals, such as myself, Obama has a reputation for talking a good game, but being toothless when it comes to execution. The question now is, will the government being actively implementing these ideas a year from now, or will people be left to fend for themselves, once the news trucks pull away, just like the victims of Katrina? It does no good for a quarterback to call great plays if he keeps dropping the ball.

Mumbo Jumbo Updated

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The following is a song from a 60s play, "Stop The World - I Want To Get Off." The song is sung by Littlechap, who's running for the House of Commons, and is meant to mock political speeches which use key phrases amidst the "mumbo jumbo," but actually say nothing. I simply updated it for today's American elections.

Mumbo Jumbo Updated
Littlechap begins to campaign, as the Chorus sings:

Vote for Littlechap! Vote for Littlechap!
Vote for Littlechap! Vote for Littlechap!
For Littlechap!

Girl: Fellow citizens, our speaker for tonight is the Opportunist candidate for this constituency, Mr. Littlechap.

Littlechap sings:

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Tickety bubarb yak yak yak.
Mumbo jum red white and bluebarb,
Goldman Sach's on it's back.

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Nothing newbarb cha cha cha.
Mumbo Jumbo BP's spillbarb.
I think someone's gone too far!

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Voulez-vousbarb avec moi?
Mumbo Jumbo entrez-nousbarb,
Paris Hilton ooh la la!

Girl: Ladies of the Book of the Month Guild, it is my pleasure to introduce the Opportunist candidate for this constituency, Mr. Littlechap!

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Has Pakistan got the bomb?
Holy cowbarb if it's truebarb,
We'll be blown to kingdom come.

Chorus: You've got a bomb, We've got a bomb, All God's children got bombs.

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Give Bear Stearns more free cash.
Helps the nation, stops inflation.
How's your mortgage? Wall Street crash.

Chorus: We wanna be rich with money to burn.

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Housing Market can't go wrong.
APR's sky rocket,
In plans four score long.

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Here everybody's free.
Give the homobarbs their rights,
Just don't tell the G.O.P!

Mumbo Jumbo, rhubarb rhubarb,
Up your flubarb, City Hall.
And, dear friends, if I'm elected,
I'm all right, Jack--screw you all!

Littlechap wins the election by a landslide.

Health/Medical Fads

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Last week, my mother was on the phone with a nurse from her HMO, trying to describe lights she was seeing in one eye. About every forty-five seconds, I’d hear her sigh and say, “No, my eyes are not dry.” The nurse seemed to be eager to recommend drops for Chronic Dry Eye. You’ve undoubtedly seen commercials for these miracle drops, featuring the optometrist with the body of a Bond girl. While the nurse’s stubbornness was annoying, she’s not alone. The tendency to succumb to the latest health/medical fad is hardly a new phenomenon.

Typically, when we talk about fads, we’re talking about fashion, music, movies, books, TV, or the culinary realm. However, medical history is heavily peppered with fads which have dominated the “medical wisdom” of a particular era. I, of course, can’t name them all, but there are a choice few which stick out like sign posts along a desert road.

In the late nineteenth century, companies, such as Bayer, were pumping out concoctions of opium, cocaine, and alcohol to treat pain, sleeplessness, consumption, PMS, menopause, and other ailments of the body. In fact, ladies of means had their daily tonic to help get them through the day. Of course, they needed it to get through the day, they were addicted without realizing it.

The nineteen sixties came along, and overweight people were told that a motorized belt could shake the fat from their bodies. These machines were more silly than harmful, merely jiggling skin and fat around.

Before we pat ourselves on the back for not giving in to such nonsense, we must sadly acknowledge that while this device has disappeared from the market, it's been replaced by two other products. The first is a belt which shocks abdominal muscles in sequence, forcing them to contract. I’m sure that once it’s no longer marketed as a health product, this puppy will have future within the S&M community. The second gem is The Shake Weight, which users are supposed to hold as it vibrates to reduce upper arm flab.

In 1976, the President of Tuft University, Jean Mayer, vilified salt by calling it, “the most dangerous food additive of all.” Doctors made money, for thirty years, by telling people to reduce salt intake in order to avoid high blood pressure and heart attack. Everybody jumped on the bandwagon, marketing low-sodium this and salt free that.

We know now that salt isn’t harmful, unless a person is already hypertensive. In fact, doctors today, even recommend iodized salt be part of one’s diet in order to combat iodine deficiencies resulting in thyroid problems, and to promote circulatory health.

Then came oat bran, which was supposed to lower cholesterol. Food companies were tripping over each other to come up with new oat bran products, add oat bran to existing products, and hype products which already contained oat bran, “Cheerios is the only leading cold cereal clinically proven to lower cholesterol.”

Most of this hype died down once The New England Journal of Medicine funded its own clinical trials and concluded, “oat bran has no special cholesterol lowering benefit.” Yes, if you eat Cheerios/oatmeal and fruit for breakfast instead of bacon and eggs, your cholesterol will, most likely, drop, but it has nothing to do with the properties of the oat bran.

There are way too many fad diets to talk about. It seems like just about anyone can publish a diet book these days. The one that most sticks out as a pop cultural milestone in my mind though, is the low carb craze of early this decade. Everyone was talking about The Atkins Diet and necessity of minimizing dietary carbohydrates in order to lose weight. Low carb products filled grocery stores and restaurants developed Atkins approved menus. Low carb was the weight loss catch phrase of the day.

People found themselves slightly disillusioned however, when Dr. Atkins was purported to be obese (6ft, 258lbs) at the time of his death. Making matters worse, George Stella, host of Food Network’s “Low Carb and Lovin’ It,” kept gaining visible weight from episode to episode, until the show was finally canceled.

Most recently, we’ve been in the midst of a slightly different kind of fad, which isn't a product or lifestyle recommendation, but a marketing strategy. In 1999, the FDA made it legal for pharmaceutical companies to advertise prescription medications directly to consumers. We’ve all seen Bob, the perpetually smiling Enzyte guy, and the aforementioned sexy optometrist peddling Restasis. They’re part of pop culture, along side Tony the Tiger and Ronald McDonald.

Information’s empowering, right? Thanks to these ads, those of us suffering from hair loss, chronic dry eye, incontinence, irritable bowel syndrome, and erectile dysfunction know there’s hope, and that one day we can watch the sunset with our lover from the bathtub on the beach, if only we can get our doctors to prescribe the right drug.

Ah, there’s the rub. These commercials are designed to create consumer desire for particular medications. Thus, patients are going to their doctor, asking for specific prescriptions, based on what they’ve seen on TV. The really scary part comes when a doctor refuses to prescribe a particular drug, for solid medical reasons, so the patient begins “doctor shopping” in order to fill their, commercially created, desire. If we’ve learned anything from the deaths of Elvis and Michael Jackson, it’s the sad fact that eventually anyone, with enough money, can find a doctor who’s willing to prescribe anything a patient wants.

I don’t want people thinking that every recommendation coming from the health/medical community is necessarily a passing fad, which will one day be disproved as goofy. This anti-smoking kick, doctors are on, seems pretty solid, as does the roughage thing, the sun block thing, etc… Lots of good solid pieces of advice and procedures result from medical research. The trick is to remember that the health/medical industry is driven by money, just like any other market. If advice is coming from someone who’s trying to sell a book or product, you may want to take it with a grain of salt.